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Marilyn Young Stewart, daughter of 21st Century Christian Magazine's founding editors, Helen and M. Norvel Young, died December 15, 2001 at the age of 49. Her mother, her two sisters, Emily Lemley and Sara Jackson, her brother Matt Norvel III, her husband Stephen Stewart, and her six-year-old son, Josiah Malcolm Norvel Stewart, survive her.
I don't remember life without Marilyn. We were only 13 months apart so, from the time we were born, we literally did everything together. She felt like my twin. My mother even got into the habit of dressing us in matching outfits, I was always in pink and she was always in blue. In our family we were addressed as one person, "the girls". Mother would call out, "Girls, are you ready?" We spent our toddler years in Lubbock, Texas at the Broadway Church of Christ being doted upon as the "minister's daughters." As we grew up, there were the usual squabbles and jealousies between us. She said I was a 'flirt and a phony" and I said she was a "grump and rude". Even as an adult she had a slight chip on her front tooth where I, at about the age of 10, hurled an aspirin bottle across a room and caught her right in the mouth. But, with time, our sibling competitiveness waned and softened as we slowly matured. We learned to appreciate the history we shared. We came to realize that only the two of us shared memories from toddler hood to adulthood in a most unique family. Only she could remember with me the many times we played house with our baby dolls in the attic and after giving them a bath pouring buckets of water straight down the slats of the attic floor.
Over the years my love for Marilyn became much more complex than mere sentimentality. As an adult, I grew to deeply admire her. As my "big sister" I looked up to her in many ways and although I have been denied the privilege of growing old with her, I will share with you a few of the many ways she influenced my life.
1. Marilyn taught me that the root of all joy is thankfulness.
Marilyn was not what you'd call a naturally "upbeat" person. She was rather subdued in a crowd of people. She wouldn't "bounce" in to a room with smiles and hugs for all; in fact she was rather suspicious of those who did. Marilyn had to work at being thankful and that's why I admire her for it. She was an intense person who would tend to ponder the future. She had many hopes and dreams, but rather than live in the fear that her dreams would never come true, Marilyn practiced "resting" in God's timing as she waited for His answers to her prayers. She believed that God was at work even when she couldn't see the evidence.
Marilyn knew what it meant to wait on the Lord with an attitude of thankfulness and expectancy. She was 40 years old before God answered her prayer for a Godly husband and 42 before she received the gift of a child. Through those years of waiting, she held on to many scriptural promises including this one, "yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion…blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18. She later wrote as she faced her cancer, "God promises that our sufferings will grow our faith and draw us closer to Him if we will trust Him in the darkness. He will give us the grace we need when we need it, to face each trial."
Marilyn taught me that thankfulness is often a moment-to-moment decision that takes personal discipline. During her last month in the hospital Marilyn was receiving chemotherapy, regular platelet transfusions was very weak, but she would repeat her daily ritual by saying, "Today I am thankful for Stephen, for Josiah, for good doctors and nurses, for my family, and for my faith." Being thankful was her choice and that daily choice gave her the gift of joy.
2. Marilyn taught me that the source of inner strength comes from a daily, vital relationship with Jesus Christ.
I often had long telephone conversations with Marilyn when she was home in Grants, New Mexico. As she faced her frustrating daily 2-˝ year battle with leukemia she would often end our conversation by saying, "I need to go have my devotional time because I always feel encouraged after that." Marilyn knew that her time each morning reading Scripture, praying and writing in her journal would free her of her "load of care". The promises of the scriptures were nourishment to her soul throughout this trial. She loved the Psalms and would write her favorite verses on 3X5 cards and place them all around her house. There was one above her telephone, one at her kitchen sink, one on her bathroom mirror. Her favorite was Jeremiah 29:11,
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope an a future."
She would literally meditate on these scriptures day and night. She would recite them to me and to others as a way of expressing her faith in God alone. She was determined not to allow her circumstances dictate her mood.
She was utterly convinced of God's unfailing fatherly love for her and his commitment to her, as Psalm 103 says, "For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear Him." She encouraged those who were hurting to pour out their hearts to the Lord because, "He is full of compassion."
Marilyn was convinced that God loved her passionately and personally and that truth gave her the capacity to rest in Him each day. She would often remind me of Henry Blackaby's statement in the book, "God's love for us was settled on the cross of Jesus Christ". One of the last things Marilyn said from her hospital bed in a very faint voice was, "I know God loves me."
3. Marilyn taught me that as a Christian woman, nothing should come before my calling as a wife and mother.
Marilyn was fiercely committed to her husband and her six-year-old son. She treasured her relationship with Steve, as well as the gift of her beautiful son. Although she had an advanced graduate degree and was a gifted marriage and family counselor, she never considered putting her career before them. This was primarily due to the role modeling she had received from our Mother. We never doubted for a minute Mother's love for and loyalty to our Father and her devotion to her children. She was a true supportive partner in all that my Father accomplished.
Marilyn knew how to "reverence" her husband as Ephesians 5 teaches. She would always build him up, both in private and in public. Steve told us that he never feared criticism from her, but rather he felt free to tell her all of his concerns and to share with her all of his dreams. She believed in him and she respected him. She would often brag on him in public. I remember her starting a story with the words, "Steve is just so smart, he decided to…." Or she would say, "One of the things I love about Steve is…". Marilyn loved and respected her husband and he will be the first to tell you that her devotion to him provided an environment in which he could grow.
As a mother, Marilyn, knew her calling. Her son, Josiah, named after the fine young king of Israel in the Old Testament, was an answer to many prayers. Her commitment to being home with her son was partly due to the graduate education she had received in the field of child development. She had studied the research, which shows clearly that nothing can replace the love and attention of a mother to her child, especially during those first 3-5 formative years.
When Josiah was a toddler, she spent hours nurturing him and teaching him that he was deeply loved not only by his mom and dad, but also by his heavenly father. Two years ago, when her cancer was not too aggressive, Marilyn elected to spend the year home-schooling Josiah. They had time for academic instruction and time for spiritual training. Josiah showed evidence of that training this past fall when he started first grade in public school, due to his mother's illness. It was a big adjustment for him. Many mornings he would have preferred to stay home with his mom. Sometimes getting out of the car and walking into school was a tearful experience. One day when his dad was driving him to school he looked in the rear view mirror to see Josiah's eyes sealed tight. Steve asked, "Josiah, were you praying?" Josiah replied, "Yes, I was praying that I wouldn't cry this morning." He went on to say, "Dad, I just don't know what I would do if I weren't a Christian!" What a great foundation Josiah has been given by a mother who knew a personal, powerful, loving God.
Marilyn Young Stewart's life reminds me of Oswald Chambers' quote, "Never underestimate the power of a life fully surrendered to Jesus Christ." She fully surrendered her life to Him; she trusted Him and she rested in Him. It was because of this that God was able to use her to inspire faith in every life she touched, especially her kid sister.
 -- Sara Young Jackson
(Sara Young Jackson is the Associate Director of the Center for the Family at Pepperdine University) |
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